I've been at a loss for posts. It isn't necessarily because I don't have anything to post about, it's because I don't always want to be negative and to be honest, I haven't had a lot of nice things to say about motherhood lately.
That sounds bad, right?
I will say that 2 is a fun age in many ways. The development of language and emotion is sweet, adorable, intriguing, and whatever other positive adjective you want to insert. Lily is the funniest person I know and she can be so adoring and sweet...but, it isn't called "terrible twos" for nothing.
Lily has regressed on sleep habits, waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes often, and taking nothing but short cat naps. Combine that with epic tantrums and you have yourself one tired, annoyed, stressed out mama. I realize I'm not alone and I'm certainly not claiming that I have it worse than any other mom, but I will admit that I'm at a loss on how to deal with the terrible twos.
I'm doing the best I can to roll with the punches. Live for the cute little nuances. Keep myself calm. Breathe through the challenges. Remind myself that this will pass. Utilize my family and take breaks. But some days all of these things combined just aren't enough to keep me feeling sane.
I struggle with the guilt of feeling frustrated. I feel horrible when I snap at Lily during her meltdown because I logically know that SHE is frustrated and just learning how to deal with HER emotions. I am the adult. I should be able to hold this together for her. But it's frustrating and sometimes infuriating.
I am going to look into some books theorized on the terrible twos and try to exercise some of the techniques, because let's face it, I'm kind of at my wits end here and we have at least another year of this!

I promise I'll have something happier to share. I just tend to need to write when things are, well, difficult. That's what I need this outlet for- venting. It soothes me a bit and allows me to not live in my own head so much.