Welcome to my journal of motherhood.

Although I have been blogging for a couple of years, I haven't been journaling the way I want to.
I am a writer. I always have used this as my outlet. I want to journal though, not just write. I want this journal to be for me, and for an adult Lily, telling about my experiences in raising her. I have written Lily several letters already in the past 13 months but they are my "mommy" letters, letters of happiness and milestones, not of day to day feelings and experiences.

I read a book that inspired me to do this. The author started journaling when her daughter was 7 months old and some of her entries made me realized the things I neglected to capture.

One thing that stands out in my mind is the way that I used to love to hold Lily on my shoulder and hear her little breaths and sounds of life. Those sounds used to make me smile no matter what the moments previous had been like. That little rising and falling of her chest on mine was what made me a mom. It was life that I created. It was what I longed for while she was growing inside me. It my favorite part about being a new mom of a tiny 7lb newborn...and I never even wrote that down.

So, better late than never.
Here, at 13 months, Lily is now my toddler and I will start from here.

I will speak a lot directly to her here and give a lot of honesty about where the journey has taken me. It won't always be rainbows and unicorns. My goal is to make this more of a daily entry blog of life. Not just the "let me catch you all up with my life" type of blog. Few pictures, more words. Some of my entries may not even make sense to some or most, but they are my experiences.

Why share with the masses? Because I want to share my reality of motherhood. The good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing and the unthinkable.

Motherhood, and all of it's glory, is a job. A job of which no experience is required. There are no promotions, or even pay for that matter. There is no upper management or supervisors. There is no time off or even a pat on the back. You can't even do an internship to ensure that this job suits you. You apply for the position the day you conceive and you are contracted for life. You get an instant promotion the day your child is welcomed into the world. You are a mother, without a training manual. You have no choice but to learn as you go along. I could be cliche here and say that love is the payoff, and it is, but it is still a job with a learning curve.

Here are my daily musings of my promotion to motherhood.