Tuesday, August 17, 2010

This morning you were clingy, of course. You have a sense that I'm leaving, I just know it. You're so smart- too smart- for your own good. Maybe you just feel my sad energy, dreading the mere thought of leaving you for just 48 hours.

Daddy was changing your clothes, (or trying to anyway), in your room while I was putting some laundry away. I came out of our bedroom and saw you barreling down our long hallway, naked, headed for me with a gigantic smile behind your paci. You love being naked and running around the house. Fortunately, you've only peed twice and it's been on the tile, not the carpet...so far!

As you ran toward me, I knelt down to catch you in my arms and you did something that you never, ever do...you hugged me. You grabbed around my neck, with both of your arms holding me tight and your sweet face nestled into my shoulder and held on to me. Ordinarily, your hugs consist of you just leaning forward a bit or maybe even a slight head butt, but not today.

You held me for about a solid minute.

And I cried.

And I said I'm sorry that I have to leave again.

You didn't seem to notice my sadness, daddy said, because you were all smiles looking at him with your head resting on my shoulder.

These are the moments for me that define motherhood. These are the moments when I feel rewarded and appreciated. These are the moments that make me *think* that I want another child and that it wouldn't be that hard. These are the moments when time stands still and I am reminded that I am your mommy and you need me. These are moments that confirm that I must be doing something right as a mom because you trust me.

There is nothing in this world that compared to that hug that you gave me today. Thank you.

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